Does the topic of sexuality rub off on you in the wrong way, does it ruffle your feathers uncomfortably and leaves you searching for an exit? Well, you are not alone. The topic of sexuality has caused a lot of controversy and seems to be a topic many tend to shy away from, especially in our churches.
Why is it that we tend to shy upon this topic as Christians or when we do address it we tend to step on toes? This as a result has caused a wedge between the church and the LGBTQI+ community. We have interviewed two people to weigh in on this topic.
“You cannot expect the church to accept you when your own family hasn’t accepted you yet”
Kgomotso Ralepelle grew up in the church. He shares with us about the struggles of being a homosexual and Christian at the same time. Growing up and acknowledging his sexuality, he wrestled with himself a lot because from childhood he was taught that homosexuality is a sin. “I knew this, I acknowledged this and therefore I wanted to change”, he says. He explains that this was a dark period in his life. He recalls how after disclosing his sexuality to his mother, she took him to a church to be prayed for, not once but countless of times. Still, after being prayed for the change that not only his mom but he wanted to see was not there, he still felt the same. The wrestling continued and he got to the point of pleading with God to change him. “People think we have brought this upon ourselves, how in my right mind would I choose to be gay when I see what gay people have to go through on a daily basis”, he says. He does however acknowledge that there is a spiritual bondage to this but doesn’t believe it is the same in all cases. Today, he has made peace with who he is and has underwent a journey of self-love and acceptance and his mother has also climbed on the train.
He does acknowledge that sometimes it does get hard being accepted in the church when you are gay, but he emphasizes this, “You cannot expect the church to accept you when your own family hasn’t accepted you”. He says your family must lead by example and the church will follow. He expresses that what he would love to see is homosexuality being normalized, “at the end of the day we are all people”, he says.
“I’m sure many of us have had a kind of experience where we were in a class physically and yet we were found daydreaming and being elsewhere! Could we classify the day dream as a reality, well it’s not”
We speak to Pastor Sabbath Makumbila who gives us his view on the topic. He uses the illustration of a person having a daydream. “I’m sure many of us have had a kind of experience where we were in a class physically and yet we were found daydreaming and being elsewhere! Could we classify the day dream as a reality, well it’s not”, he says. He says that in as much as the daydream feels so real to a point where you lose touch with your present reality, it is not real. Living in a daydream in this case symbolizes living in sin and being ruled by the sinful passions of the flesh which include fear, lust, fornication, drunkenness, homosexuality etc. “These can only be daydreams because the truth of the reality is that we are in Christ in the heavens and He is the truth as Colossians 3: 1-4 echoes. Is it possible that we can convince you that the daydream was not real? Well if I’m honest, we can’t because it’s real as far as you are concerned”, he says. This explains why one would say “I feel this is who I am” when referring to their sexuality.
So, what do you do in this case? “The solution is that the one reality must increase its intensity and overwhelm the other”, he says. The more the reality of who you are in Christ intensifies in your life the more the other “realities” decrease in intensity. What the church needs to realise is that they cannot exclude homosexuals from church activities or guilt trip them into changing. When the transformation is not authentic, it is false. What they need to do is give them Christ, He will do the transformation. He also adds that we should not isolate homosexuality like it is the only sin the bible talks about. There is no hierarchy when it comes to sins, whether they are easily noticeable or not. As Galatians 2: 16 [NIV] says “know that a person is not justified by the works of the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So, we too, have put our faith in Christ and not by the works of the law, because by the works of the law no one will be justified.”
Worth reading!